Guide no more!

In my first post, I will attempt to humor you with the story of my first hunting guide experience.

My buddy, from another province, decided to invite himself to my hunting grounds, after the numerous success stories I had reported to him. So I acquired a hunting guides license.

We spent the night at my house exchanging stories, pictures and lies about past hunting experiences. We left for the camp at 3:00 am, hoping to get there in time for bacon and eggs. There, my friend was to meet the rest of the clan, who at this point of the game, were all track soup lovers.

With bellies full of pork and chicken yokes, we headed out in the deer country. Now, we all took turns explaining the territory to our newcomer, rivers, roads, trails, and most important, how not to get lost. We scheduled a noon rendezvous, exactly at the departure point, with clear instruction to my buddy to absolutely not hunt across the river.

Well, wouldn't you know it, he didn't show at the rendezvous. So I waited, waited some more, then the search began. The whole village got involved at one point, but, to no avail. Dark soon fell upon us with plans to call in the services of search and rescue. But wait, a vehicle coming down the dirt trail, headlights bouncing and shining the top of the treeline, horn blaring. Could it be? He only missed the rendezvous by 7 hours, we weren't worried at all.

Now you'll notice by now that there were no names mentioned here, in hopes this story will not disrespect or offend the people and events that follows.

The following is his account of events, not in anyway distorted or embellished.

He found himself across the river, where he was not supposed to be, at about 11 o'clock. There, he met a local hunter. After exchanging greetings, this local hunter noticed that my buddy was not from around this neck of the country, . When my buddy told him what hunting camp he started from this morning, the local told him he was definitely lost, at least 12 miles from his base camp. He convinced my buddy to hop on the back of his ATV, and he would take him home.

Well, on the way out of the woods, they passed by the local hunter's camp, and decided to go in for a swig or two. My buddy proceeded to explain that he had a rendezvous at 12, and he really did not want to be late, fearing I may think he was lost. Before they had a chance to finish their second drink, a woman stormed in the camp, crying and obviously upset. She told her husband to beat the trail home, that there was a big emergency. Hop in the truck he told my buddy, it's on the way to your camp. When they got to the house, my buddy waited in the truck until the driver's wife came back and said that her husband's father had died and the ambulance was on the way. To make matters worse, the ambulance attendants were two small females, and would not be able to lift the corpse, so buddy had to assist in the removal of the body.

Now everybody was distraught and didn't want anything to do with driving my buddy anywhere. An hour of so later, the guy's wife decided to drive my buddy out, but, this was her first time in this region and she didn't know how to get to the camp. They finally found their way to my buddy's car. He thanked her for the drive, got in his car and headed to greet me, and the surprised search party, down the muddy trail.

Now, Davy Crockett I am not. After much ridicule, rib poking and friendly abuse, I decided to bring my buddy home. I took him hunting in a small cluster of woods surrounded by roads and hydro lines for the next week.

It's funny how my great success in deer hunting has now been shadowed by this one event. I will guide no more!

Hunting Supplies & Accessories